Why I Chose Sex Work
Dull and meaningless jobs were never fulfilling to me. Not to offend those with jobs in the service industry, but serving snobs and setting up displays (only for them to be demolished moments later) is unappealing to me. As dull as this is to me, getting a thick cock in my anus was undoubtedly a more exciting option. Exuberantly more exciting was the concept of men serving me, paying and begging to worship the feet I walked on; ever exciting female domination. So, combine these two ideas, and suddenly pornography and BDSM held my fancy. An intense lust for the lifestyle overcame me; thus I caved.
Currently, I am a professional Dominatrix, model, and porn performer. My career choices are not all that I am, but it is an excellent introductory point because my jobs are where a significant amount of my energy is focused. I love my work; it allows me time and freedom I didn't think would be accessible to me until I retired. (Aside from life) Time is what I hold most valuable, specifically my time, because, that is all we have to share. XXX work allows me to price my time highly and spend most of my time with myself or loved ones. I get to create and travel freely. I can sleep in the warmth of my partner as long as I'd like in the mornings. I get to take days off when I do not feel well versus powering through like I used to in vanilla work. In my early 20's I became a sex worker.
Adult work enables me to have a space to voice my boundaries. I have never been in an atmosphere that allows me to speak up for myself such as a porn set or when negotiating a scene in my female domination sessions. When I voice and hold my boundaries firm, I can navigate an enjoyable and often intense experience with whomever I am interacting with that day. This assertive behavior spills over into my vanilla life where I am no longer too shy to let the cute barista know my coffee was made incorrectly (most of the time), nor will I ever have a boss that sexually harasses me again. I can hold conversations with confidence and maintain a steady level of eye contact. Therefore, sex work has grounded me into being the self-assured human I am today.
Perhaps the most important element to note is that sex has always been performative for me. Since my youth, I have reveled in exhibitionism and sucking the reactions out of my partner's. Pornography was very compelling to me, and once I overcame the fear of being rejected by my family, I had all the power to make my own choices. If we do not allow other's to dictate the choices we make, we can unlock every door, including the backdoor.
Namaste,
Lola Fae
* My background in sex work is by no means a mirror for everyone's experience in sex work